Thoughts of an Emerging Ogre

The sad truth is that it has been over a year since my last post.

Many things happened that caused me to abandon my blog for a time, and many have kept me from returning.

The first big change was taking a break from seminary, to pursue a Master of Arts in Non-Profit Organizational Administration.  It has been a great experience that continues to prepare me for work in faith communities and community organizations — both of which I want to be a part of.  Being removed from the daily conversation has been really hard, and for a long time it left me with nothing to say.  Additionally, the creation of this blog with the idea of talking about faith, practice, and all things ministerial left me feeling like I couldn’t blog about anything else.

The second issue has been the continual expansion of my workload and responsibilities with the Sullivan Center for Innovative Ministry.  In addition to all of the branding and design work for the website and print media, I have also been creating an (almost) bi-monthly newsletter and am now overseeing the planning for three big events that we are hosting on the MNU campus between now and June.

The busyness of work and study took me away from the blogosphere in general.  It also had a detrimental affect on the rhythm of my spiritual walk.  My Rule of Life fell to the wayside and my spiritual disciplines have been anything but.  Luckily, this is no longer true, as I have learned to find better balance in my new roles and responsibilities.

Lastly, I have been really burnt out in general.  I guess you could say that my spiritual journey has been in a valley for the past year.  It hasn’t been a crisis of faith or a whirlwind of doubt, but more the result of a shift in my views of ecclesiology and what it means to live as a follower of Christ.  This shift has been in the opposite direction of the shift in the church we are a part of, and I no longer feel like I have a place there.  There is a lot more to it, but I will save that for another day.

So where does all of this leave me now?  Drained!  That is why I am trying to get back into the things that kept me going, and this blog was one of them.

You will start to see some changes in the coming months, as I begin to tweak ogrepraxy.  I will still talk about faith and practice, but I will also talk about other things in my life.  My artistic side, and interests like photography and woodworking.  Things that are happening in my life.  My continuing transformation as a teacher and as a disciple.

These are all part of this orgre’s praxy (practice), so it is only fitting that they become part of ogrepraxy as well.

I look forward to continuing on this renewed journey, and the great conversation that is to come!

Peace,

Jason

One of the many things keeping me busy and away from the blogosphere has been searching, finding, and buying our first home!

We took possession on August 1st, and I am quickly trying to learning how to install garage door openers, and remodel a bathroom.

I will get more pictures up as we go, but here is an exterior shot for you.

Peace & Love

Hello everyone.

I have once again fallen into the abyss of busy life and let me blog go to the wayside. Sadly, I can’t even say ‘once again’ as my stint of posts was such a nano-blip that I am technically on my first round of neglect!

To update everyone on this ogre’s life — much has changed.

I am now back on the campus of MidAmerica Nazarene University, but this time I am on staff with a new ministry to pastors. The Sullivan Center for Innovative Ministry started up in March, as a way to equip and connect our pastors while also building an online community for ongoing support, fellowship, and dialogue. The website is my first adventure into designing and building from scratch. I am still figuring a lot out, but am having a blast getting it all going.

The efforts of the Center will initially focus on Nazarene Pastors in the midwest region (Kansas, Missouri, Iowa, Nebraska, Minnesota, and North & South Dakota), but so much of it is already going to be open to everyone. We are going to be starting some online book discussions through Blackboard, and those will be available to anyone who wishes to participate. I will keep you posted.

In addition to the website, I also handle the print design and administrative elements. It has been a little crazy getting all of this lined up, but I am so excited to see how we will be able to serve all the pastors who want to be a part of the community.

I am still working with the chaplaincy program at Leavenworth Federal Penitentiary one day a week. My group of guys has (for various reasons) gone from twelve to six. This smaller group is quickly finding a level of intimacy and a safe place together, to share and grow.

The last piece of news is that my wife and I just bought our first home! We are very excited to close and take possession this Friday. We will have to move slowly over the month of August, working around our brother’s wedding and Dana’s business trip to DC.

Anyway, I truly miss the blogosphere — reading the thoughts and ideas of others, conversing on new ideas through comments and emails, and sharing my own thoughts here at orgepraxy.

I hope to get back to all of this by intentionally making time for it each day. I also hope to generate more conversation from my readers in the comments section, so anyone who has been blogging awhile and has some suggestions there — please send them my way!

For all of you who have happened upon this post by checking my site for updates, or because you kept me in your feed — thank you for sticking with me. Hopefully, I can get back up to speed in the coming weeks!

Peace & love!

I have a playlist of favorite tunes that I listen to when I write sometimes, and one song in particular always pulls me into its words — Sailed On by Landon Pigg.

When I hear the verses of that song I here a relational God that wants reconciliation with creation – instead of a people who are obedient to their self-imposed legalism, in hopes of finding favor and blessing from an overly strict Father.

Then there is the hope of the last verse when God seems to be getting through.

Here are the lyrics.  Enjoy.

Please don’t do what I say
‘Cause if you don’t love me, it’s worthless anyway
Please don’t trouble yourself
You’ll only go away in the end

Oh, I can just see it now (I can see it now)
You’re reckless in love
Your hearts boiling over
Oh, I can just see it now
You’re coming around

Hello everyone,

I am sorry for my long silence, but things just got too intense in my life and keeping up the blog — actually keeping up with reading blogs, had to go on the back burner for awhile.

To give you all a brief recap of my past couple of months, my dad went back into the hospital worse than before. It had only been a couple of weeks since he had over two liters of fluid removed from his right lung, and he was now back with more than ever. They took him to surgery, removed almost four liters, and did a procedure to prevent further build up. He had to stay in bed for weeks with a drainage tube, and go through a seemingly endless array of tests and procedure from cardiac, pulmonary, and auto-immune specialists — and in the end still did not know the cause of these three episodes.

Three weeks into his stay, my wife’s grandmother had a severe stroke and passed away. My wife and her family had to go to Arkansas for the funeral without me, because I didn’t want to leave my dad. Five days later my grandmother died. This was my father’s mother, and we worried about telling him and how it might affect his own recovery. She had a close call weeks before, and bounced back from multiple system failures — but she went to a nursing facility to recover, got another strain of flu, and it was all too much to fight. Everyone in our family knew that she was sick again and that things weren’t going well, but we chose to not tell my dad since it could only hinder his own improvement.

My dad has been in KUMed’s cardiology wing for all three episodes (since it started with fluid on the heart), and they have been amazing every time. When they heard about my father’s mom passing they took it to a new level — rallying together to get my father to a level of wellness, so that he could leave the hospital to attend his mother’s service. Their efforts gave my dad an infusion of hope too, and my dad not only got well enough to leave — he didn’t have to go back.

Now, six weeks later my dad has lost almost 50 pounds and is being tapered off steroids. Prayers for continued healing would be great appreciated.

The week of my grandmother’s funeral I got a call that the new center for innovative ministry and Master of Pastoral Leadership in a Community Context had been approved by the University. Since then I have come back on staff to be a part of this great new ministry to pastors. We will offer library and database access to every pastor on our region (Iowa, Kansas, Minnesota, Missouri, Nebraska, North Dakota, and South Dakota), increase our on-campus Ministry Resource Intensives, and offer global experiences through educational travel and service. The newest facet of service will be a growing list of faculty and pastors who have offered to go to the districts that may not be able to come to the University for educational events, and provide weekend seminars. All the hosts need to cover is transportation and lodging.

Besides getting things rolling, I have had to do quite a bit print design and work on building a website. In all of this, and finishing up my semester of classes I have really let the blog go, but now I am back and committed to getting back to posting — hopefully daily.

I hope that some of you have continued to check back once in awhile, and are still around to begin this journey of conversation with me again.

Peace.

The Texas Secretary of State has issued the official results from the Texas Democratic primary.   

Check them out at the Corner. 

“I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge.
That myth is more important than history.
That dreams are more powerful than facts.
That hope always triumphs over experience.
That laughter is the only cure for grief.
And I believe that love is stronger than death.”
– Robert Fulghum

Hello everyone.  I am sorry for the week of silence, but my family has been dealing with a lot of health issues.  My father has been in and out of the hospital since June with fluid on the heart and lungs, and with the stress of last Friday his latest problems have come on only a week after they took 2.5 liters off of his right lung.

The stress of last Friday was the morning call that my grandma - his mother, was dying in the next few hours and there was nothing the hospital could do.  She had been dealing with her own fluid retention issues.  Her legs & feet had become so swollen that she saturated her shoes.  On top of that she was very sick with the flu.

They had turned her away from her regular hospital, and she ended up back out in the south metro by her assisted living.  She came in with congestive heart failure, respiratory failure, acidosis, Influenza A (confirmed by tests), and an extremely low oxygenation of the blood mirrored with extremely high levels of carbon dioxide.  

The doctors were unable to treat any one thing, because of the other issues present.  The only option they had was to make her comfortable, and put her on a machine that would attempt to adjust the oxygen and CO2 levels in her blood.  At this point she was in an unconscious state, and the few times that she did come to only showed how far gone she was (she thought they were in a town where she grew up).

I drove my father to the hospital, and we came into her room when my aunt was talking with the nurse.  We didn’t want to interrupt, so we just stood at grandma’s bedside and looked at her.  We both reached out and took one of her hands.  Then no more than 15 seconds after we had taken hold of her hands her eyes shot open, and she was looking right at me.  This startled us both as it was clear that she had been out for some time, and the doctors were confident that her situation would not change.

Grandma is always on oxygen, and has been for 15+ years.  They had her in a pear shaped mask that covered her nose & mouth, and it was nearly impossible to hear her ramblings under the noise of the air mask.  By this time my dad, exhausted from the walk to the room, had gone to sit down. 

My grandma continued to talk to me, but I could not hear what she was saying so I knelt down close.  She was asking me, “Did they have to put your dad to sleep?”  I thought this was an odd comment in line with the crazy stuff she had been saying earlier and almost made a joke about taking my dad to the vet, but then I realized that she was talking about the procedure he had just gone through days before. This was a timely and relevant question!  I told her no, and that he actually sat on his bed and talked to us while they did it.  She then went on to tell me she was sad that her nephew Homer had died, which had happened the day before.  

It was obvious that she was awake, aware of current events, and rather chatty!  I pulled up a chair so that I could sit and remain close to hear, and started having a nice conversation.  The down side was that all the talking was having a negative effect on her oxygen levels, so we have to cut it short to let her sleep.  

Throughout the day her levels began to fix themselves.  The doctors could not explain why she was getting better, or why she hadn’t already succumbed to everything.  Her acidosis alone was more than twice the fatal level.  

There is no explanation for what happened, but we didn’t need explanations.  It was a great reminder to my often sometimes-cynical self that miracles do happen, and that the power of prayer is our greatest resource when loved ones are ill.

This is a tool that I will continue to use this week, as my dad has been readmitted into KUMED.  Now he is going back in twelve pounds heavier, which by rough calculation means that those 2.5 liters are back & nearly doubled!  He will be going into surgery on Wednesday morning for a procedure called VATS (video assisted thoracoscopic surgery). It will be more invasive, complicated, and nerve-racking for us all.  

Please pray for the doctors, my father, my grandma, and our family.  I will keep you updated.

Ahhh, the wonders of medical science!

I posted a few days ago about the place of the elderly in our faith communities – that they have a place in the church that no one can fill, and that their own journeys are not over.

One part of Jim’s post that I have been thinking about is his comment that traditional churches are doing a better job than emerging communities.  I partly agree with him in regards to mainline denominations, but I otherwise disagree for two reasons.

I say partly because I don’t think that the large number of elderly members in mainline churches is as much a result of them doing senior ministries better, as it is a simple result of minimal changes to church structure and liturgy.  This results in more seniors attending, because it is the style of church, liturgy, and hymns that they are familiar with.

I also don’t think that the emerging communities are doing a bad job.  Actually, I would have to disagree with the premise of that statement.  The emerging conversation brings together people of a similar mindset, and therefore includes people of all ages, races, places, and backgrounds. 

The Gen-X movement sought to bring together people focusing on an age range, and quickly found that the issue was not one of age, but of a way of thinking & living.  Out of that evolved our current conversation, and while it may appeal to a predominantly younger crowd I feel that this simply points to the rising percentage of postmodern thinkers with each generation.

In between the churches of the emerging conversation and the mainline denominations are the evangelical churches, and this is where I have seen the greatest lack of attention given to seniors.  From several personal experiences, I feel that many churches only tolerate their older members.  The church gives the older members their own Sunday school class and social club, and then convinces itself that they are doing a good job of ministering to the elderly members of the church. 

The occasional requests for a hymn or relevant class topic are ignored, because the church is too busy trying to get the seekers with the rock n’ roll worship services and hot-topic studies, and polished performances.  This is a really sad situation that our churches find themselves in.  The seniors have been influenced by their generation and difficult times to not complain when something is wrong, but instead grin and bear it.

The really sad fact is that often times the people getting the least amount of attention are the ones who kept the church alive in the time of transition from lesser relevance to the seeker sensitive, polished show of a church.  In those hard times when numbers were low, and people continued to leave for greener pastures these people remained dedicated to their church home.  Now they are repaid with a church they hardly recognize anymore, and a hint of irritation from the people around them.

Of course, this isn’t every church, but I feel that there are many who fit this bill and fail to realize it.  We should all take a serious look at how we regard the elderly in our faith communities, and make sure that their faith journeys are being as celebrated as anyone else’s.  Intergenerational gatherings and fellowship should also be a priority for us.  We have already missed so much guidance and empathy by leaving them out of the loop this long.

Just some of my thoughts.  I would love to hear yours.  How do you think churches are doing with giving attention and respect to their older members?  What else would you suggest as possibilities for improvement?