God says, “I am offering you life or death, blessing or curse. Choose life, then, so that you and your descendants may live” (Deuteronomy 30:19).

“Choose life.” That’s God’s call for us, and there is not a moment in which we do not have to make that choice. Life and death are always before us. In our imaginations, our thoughts, our words, our gestures, our actions … even in our nonactions. This choice for life starts in a deep interior place. Underneath very life-affirming behaviour I can still harbour death-thoughts and death-feelings. The most important question is not “Do I kill?” but “Do I carry a blessing in my heart or a curse?”
— Henri Nouwen in Bread for the Journey

I stayed in the classroom after class the other day to catch up on some blogs & plug some due dates into iCal.  As I sat and worked I noticed another guy had stayed behind too, and after a couple of minutes we began to talk about ourselves, our churches, and our desires for ministry. We talked for about half an hour, and I noticed something in our conversation — I have become a very pessimistic person when it comes to church.

Both he and I have had our struggles with churches that are built on programs & luring people in — where they are so focused on presentation that there is little in the way of discipleship.  We both have frustrations about our tribe, its sacred cows, and its legalistic tendencies.  The difference is that his dark clouds have silver linings, and mine are just full of thunder.  

It seems that I have come to a point where I am so discontent that I have stopped living in the hope of the better way.  I am part of this emerging conversation, but as Henri Nouwen has reminded me above, nothing can emerge from the ashes if life isn’t present.  My enthusiasm for turning consumers into Christ followers has been replaced with cynicism concerning the modern church & its ability to be transformed — my blessings have given way to curses.  

In light of this self-revelation, I have decided to focus my journey through this Lenten season on recovering my hope for transformation.  I may be preparing being prepared to plant a new faith community here in Topeka or elsewhere, but for now God has me in this place and time to minister to the community I am a part of.  

I pray that God will restore my heart of blessings, so that I might seek life.  I hope that you will think of me in your time of prayer too.

I caucused for the first time tonight, and I must say it was an amazing experience.  The precinct expected 400-500 people, and an estimated 2,000 showed up.  The meeting place was a Methodist Church that is quite large, and still the line of people went all the way around the building & then down the road a quarter of a mile!  The police had to come to shut down the street, and someone tracked down the rabbi of the synagogue across the street who was gracious enough to come open their doors to welcome in the massive overflow of people. 

We had to stand outside in the freezing cold for over an hour (which was especially fun since Captain Genius didn’t think enough to bring a coat), and then go through a massively overwhelmed system of signing in.  At least half of the people around us in line were changing parties, and all but two were there for Obama.  

By the time we got inside the Fellowship Hall was already full, and we were being directed to the sanctuary. The room was split down the middle, and you were to sit on the side of your chosen candidate.  We got in there just in time, as the pews were almost full on the Obama side of the room.  Hillary’s side ended up about 1/3 full; and Obama’s side had every pew stuffed, the center & outside isles full of standing people, and we even filled the choir loft!  I cannot speak for the FH crowd, but the sanctuary saw Barack represented 4:1.

Yes we can!